The un-preachy, non-teachy parent blog
I am currently sat here in Melbourne, Australia, at the time of writing it’s 11:03pm at night and I decided that after months and months of procrastination, I am going to start my own blog.
A little about me. My name is Hayley Burtt, well technically as I write at this very moment having not officially changed to my married name (too much paperwork), I am in fact Hayley Appleby — but that’s a story for another day.
I am a wife to my husband James Burtt, we met in the romantic resort of Magaluf almost 14 years ago, Daughter (obviously), sister to two (i’m the youngest but definitely the most sensible of all 3) and friend to many…or at least I hope! I am 36 years old and live in South East London…and on the 31st January 2017, when my son Louis was born, I became a Mum. My life changed forever.
Two and a half years earlier having been together for 7 years, married for one, we decided that we should start ‘trying’ for a baby. It seemed the logical next step in our relationship. Sure we were not financially as secure as we hoped but we knew there was no such thing as the ‘right time’. So whilst on a holiday in Disney World in October 2013, dazzled by the magic, we thought sod it, let’s just go for it and work it out as we go along.
Now when I say we were ‘trying’ for a baby, I use the word ‘try’ very loosely as we basically just stopped using protection and I began taking folic acid…(the crucial fundamentals). We didn’t become obsessed by it, we were just carrying on with life and letting nature take its course. To be honest it was only the outside influences that subconsciously made me feel a bit more under pressure to conceive. Why is it that when a woman hits her early 30’s and has no children, people think it is acceptable to just ask outright “when are you going to have children?”, as if its as simple as flicking on a light switch. My mother in law even told me that I was ‘getting on a bit’ and needed to hurry up. I laughed it off but when she posted a supposedly helpful newspaper article warning us of the latest discovery that a mans sperm count is lowered if they wear tight jeans, I thought it was going a bit too far! (Yes this is a true story!).
It took us just over 2 and a half years to conceive, and it was actually when using ovulation sticks for the second time that really helped. The first time when we used them was perfect as it coincided with a weekend event James and I were attending for a property company we worked with. But after a huge argument, we decided that the romance that weekend was officially non existence and the thought of getting jiggy was literally the last thing on our minds. The second time, I fell pregnant! It was May 2016 when we found out. It was the weirdest feeling of complete excitement and elation quickly followed by an inner sense of protection for the new little human growing inside me.
I have so many incredible memories, stories, experiences and feelings that I will share through my blog, but to begin with you are going to have to bare with me whilst I recap back and forth from past to present. Eventually I’ll catch up with myself, but I have two years of fantastic golden family content that I have to share! But this first blog needs to explain just why I am embarking on this creative journey, and why now.
I started thinking about writing a blog about a year ago. Having worked all my life and known in my family as the “career girl”, becoming a stay at home mum has been a huge challenge for me. Don’t get me wrong, being a mum has brought huge happiness and achievement to my life but it has also brought me isolation, frustration, loneliness and boredom.
Having left the world of employment at the end of 2014 to set up my own business , I was used to spending my days sat at a desk being a slave to my work. My property company was at times challenging and on top my husband and I offered marketing services to a training academy. It was full on.
But now my brain was no longer creatively mapping out business ventures or completing admin tasks , instead my brain was filled with “what colour was my sons poo today” and “ooohh what pureed food combinations can I make”.
I know I am privileged to get to spend so much time with Louis but MY GOD it can be so mind numbing at times, especially on days where human adult contact is minimal.
I read some great blogs from other parents and MumsNet is like my encyclopaedia but it got me thinking that so often people share the glossy view of parenting. The cute cuddly photos, the photos of fun days out, the “little ones fast asleep #so gorgeous” photos when in reality the little bugger was probably screaming its head off 2 minutes earlier.
I thought that starting a blog where I share the real life experiences of my family, the good, the bad and the damn right ugly (probably lots of poo and sick stories I imagine) may either a) bring a bit of humour into peoples lives or b) on a more serious note, actually help other parents as I am sure all the emotions I have felt and experienced are all common and if more parents realise this we would probably stop being so bloody hard on ourselves.
But I am a classic over thinker with a creative brain, so whilst I have thought about writing, the reality of just uploading some articles was sidelined by my need to create something it didn’t need to be. For instance, I am writing now on Medium, but I was all prepared to build a website, design a logo, work out a structure of where it will be in 5 years time, blah blah blah. My husband called me on it and gave me the kick up the arse I needed.
My years of working in the entertainment industry has always enabled me to enjoy the fun and creative side of business, but as well as being a bit of a perfectionist, with any new venture, I can easily overcomplicate. Before I know it a simple idea has scaled into a huge mountain that sometimes feels a bit too hard to climb. Although its often good to plan ahead, sometimes starting small and actually doing something is better.
So this is the numero uno. The opener, the start of my new writing career; an un-preachy, non-teachy parent blog!
I am excited.
For the past two years I have been looking for something that I can get stuck into but I didn’t want to compromise my time freedom or the ability for my husband to focus on his work. I have toyed with so many business ventures that I ‘think’ I am passionate about but I know that at this point in my life, I just want to enjoy what I am doing right now, being a mum. For me this blog has given me back the feeling of purpose which oddly I felt I had lost for the past two years.
So let me take this opportunity to welcome you and thank you for joining me on this journey.
Its 11:47pm now and my little one is due to wake up screaming at any given moment to come and sleep in between me and the hubby — a nightly ritual. If we are lucky he will drift straight back off to sleep, otherwise it’s a night of tossing and turning, kicking us in the face and hair pulling (he has this weird obsession — maybe thats a blog in itself.)
Until the next time.
Sweet dreams everyone.
Hayley
