Stop being so “judgey”

As a writer of a parenting blog that prides itself on speaking the truth, being open and honest, I have a confession to make.

I judge other mums.

I know I feel disgraceful saying it out loud, but hey the first step of changing this is admitting it right?

Now let me explain in a bit more depth, the crime I have committed in the mum world.

I was sat in Zizzi’s having dinner with my husband James and son Louis who is 4 — almost 5. It was a lovely delicious dinner. Our conversation flowed with the occasional, “Louis sit down”, “Louis stop blowing bubbles in your drink”, you know the normal dinner banter with a kid that looks like he has ants in his pants when it comes to sitting at the table. (One day I may actually superglue him to the chair…with his trousers on of course!)

We have a giggle with the waiter. He tells Louis to eat his dinner in order to be big and strong. Louis gives him a joyful thumbs up and we all laugh — ha ha ha. How is it that strangers, like a waiter, have more authority over my child than I do!

And that’s when the judgey mcjudgester appeared. Yes that’s the name I have given her.

A mum entered with her daughter, I’m guessing she was 2.5 years old.

They sit on the other side of the restaurant. However, when she orders her food, I hear it, that grating parental trait that for some reason rubs me up the wrong way.

So this is it. My confession.

She orders for herself in a very loud, well spoken and theatrical manner. And then gives the waiter a full run down of what her daughter would like, half talking to her daughter in that animated, childlike and patronising voice.

It’s like she was going out of her way to make sure we all knew what her and her daughter “Tilly” were going to be eating.

Then we have an animated commentary of their meal.

James looked at me and he said it “stop being so Judgey”.

I couldn’t deny it, I was.

He got me.

A few seconds later ‘Tilly’ (I mean I feel like I’ve known her for years) needed the loo and this was obviously something ‘Tilly’ did not like as she screamed the restaurant down when her mum informed her (dramatically) that the toilets were up the stairs.

Like a bolt of lightening my bitch mode disappeared and my “help another mum in need” hero cape came out, I was about to tell her to ask if there was a toilet on the ground floor when a member of staff saw he distress and guided her to the disabled toilet facilities.

It bought me back down to earth, back from ‘planet bitch’ and I just had to call myself out on my awful behaviour. Tut tut.

So I apologise.

If you are one of those people that likes to talk to you child in an over exaggerated, unnecessarily loud manner then hey, who am I to stop you.

If by talking about and to your child in the third person even when they are stood right next to you makes you feel more in control then again go for it.

But just a little bit of feedback if I may.

They are human beings.

Yes they may be small but you can talk to them in your normal voice. Yes like a normal conversation. You don’t need to roll out the red carpet and get the oscars ready every time you are in public.

Whoops I digressed.

Stop it Hayley.

This was meant to be an apology.



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Family Unfiltered — Hayley Burtt

Family Unfiltered — Hayley Burtt

As a full time mum and wife, I will share the joys, struggles and hilarious adventures of real life parenthood in an un-preachy, non-teachy parenting blog.