Potty training: the good, the bad and the damn right ugly!
It’s been an interesting time in the Burtt house over the past few weeks, as we decided to finally embark on the potty training journey. Having read a multitude of articles on websites and sought advice from friends and family who have successfully completed the task — I felt ready. I say I because well, James is just pushed into whatever I decide. I had given him some warning of my intentions, but he was sat Googling ‘how to potty train’ at around 11:15pm the night before.
At 2 years and 8 months, some may have even thought that we had left it quite late, it seems many children are dry from 18 months. But a friend of mine who acts as one of my parenting bibles told me not to rush and to be honest, I am so glad I waited. Why I hear you say? Two simple reasons: 1. Louis can communicate with me effectively, so I can actually have a decent conversation with him on the do’s and don’ts of having a wee or poo poo on the potty/toilet. 2. I hadn’t tackled any major milestones for a while so I felt empowered to do it!
Let me reassure you straight away that it has been soooooo much easier then I ever imagined, I was expecting Louis to point blank refuse and that I would have to force him on the potty everytime, constantly wiping up spillages and shit marks wherever he walked. Yes there has been some accidents, some utterly disgusting and hilarious ones in fact… more to follow below, but they are much more rare then I envisaged. As long as you are armed with lots of spare clothes, all forms of wipes (baby wipes, antibacterial wipes, toilet flush wipes…) and a potty for your travels …it really is pretty straightforward.
Here’s the journey so far.
Preparation
For a while Louis has been reading a Thomas The Tank Engine Potty Training book. For some reason at one point it was his favourite bedtime story. I had bought a potty a while ago, and as advised by my friend, allowed him to play with it; putting his toys on it, making wee and plop noises.
A few days leading up to the big event I started encouraging Louis that he would start using the potty because he was a big boy now. He seemed to be ok with it and was agreeing with me. Occasionally he would say “no I am not a big boy, I am a baby”, but I just kept saying it and made a fuss of it in front of his grandparents who were all cheering him on saying how amazing it will be.
I bought the following:
- Nighttime pull-ups — I thought I would crack daytime potty training and work on nighttime later.
- Waterproof bed sheet — extra security in case of any accidents
- Potty
- Travel potty — for when we are on the go
- Thomas & Friends Potty Training Book with reward chart
Day 1
So after an awful nights sleep where Louis ended up in mummy and daddy’s bed having not been able to sleep because he had a cold, we stuck with our Saturday plan, ditched the nappy and put him in a pair of Paw Patrol pants. I have to say they are the cutest looking things ever. Looking at him, he just seemed so grown up, definitely not a baby anymore.
As well as the potty, my Mum and Dad had lent to us a potty toilet seat that has a step for Louis to easily step onto. We secured it on the downstairs toilet and then started the day by asking Louis if he needed a wee. Like a game show host, we showed him all the varieties, like showcasing prizes — you can go on the blue potty, or the orange fox potty or the star prize, the toilet itself! Louis did not engage and was not impressed. “No No No” he said. Bollocks. This is going to be bloody hard work.
I was scheduled to get my hair cut that same morning, in hindsight that was stupid timing but if you know me, I don’t do this “upkeep” stuff very often and my hair gets to a point where I give Tina Turner a run for her money. After asking Louis for the millionth time “Do you need a wee?” to which he replied “No!” I left.
When I returned James said he had done a wee …but on the floor. Our first little accident. James didn’t make a fuss, instead just continued to reassure and encourage Louis.
A little while after his lunch, Louis sat on his potty and did a big wee. I was one of those clichéd Mums, jumping up and down for joy, I truly felt so proud of him. I called for James and he ran in and we both made a huge fuss on congratulating him. There were hugs, praise, kisses, and a marching band… well no not quite but we did call his Nanny and Grandad to share the news. His little face was a picture, he was so happy with himself. He picked a Thomas sticker from his book and we stuck it on the chart.
Later on that day he had another accident, he did a wee whilst playing in his toy room, however on this occasion, he did call me but by the time he got to the potty it was too late.
But the most amazing moment was after dinner. Knowing there was a big poo brewing, James and I were on full alert. So much so I made him sit on a plastic bag. I’m all accepting of accidents but cleaning up squashed down poo from his high chair that has lots of seams and splits was not high on my agenda of wishes. At one point I even got his favourite teddy ‘Mamack’ to do pretend poo’s on the potty… I used blueberries, it was pretty realistic!
Around 30 minutes after dinner having asked him another 100 times if he needed a poo and trying to describe the feeling he might get when he needs to go (“you may get a tingle in your bum” I thinks that’s how I said it!) he sat on the potty and did a tiny little poo. We were cheering! Who knew that staring at another persons shit could be so satisfying!
I showed him the potty so he could see what he had done, hoping he would register what an incredible moment it was, but instead he just started gagging. I couldn’t help but laugh; this kid has a definite poo phobia. I was sure there would be more to come and as predicted a few minutes later he ran back to the potty and finished the job. I had always wondered what his poo would look like in a potty instead of a nappy — and wa wa wee wa — it nearly made my eyes water. How he ever sat happily with that in his nappy before I don’t know.
The funniest part was James and I trying to properly wipe Louis’ bum whilst he was standing up. You just can’t seem to get your hand right in there, which then results in an unclean bottom that gets soar. Asking Louis to bend was hilarious, he leans right forward, barely keeping balance and there you are just casual inspecting and wiping, asking him to repeat every few seconds like some weird choreographed bow. Then there was the emptying of the potty into the toilet. We had toilet roll and antibacterial wipes at the ready, we poured, flushed, cleaned the potty and ran around holding clumps of shitty antibacterial wipes not wanting to throw them in the bin and trying to locate a nappy sack to put them all in.
By the end of the day Louis had filled an entire strip on his chart. It was an amazing achievement. At night-time we put on his night pants that had Lightning McQueen on them, he looked at them, gave me a hug and said, “Ah mummy you are so lovely” — bless him.
Number of accidents: 2
Number of wee’s on the potty: 2
Number of poo’s on the potty: 2
Day 2
So today we have had two wee accidents, the first was because I was actually on the toilet when I heard, “Mummy, I need to go”, I thought Louis making a mess was excusable but me? Not so much. It seemed he had attempted to make it to the potty but between trying to get his dressing gown out of the way and get in position, most of it ended on the floor.
The second time he was playing in his toy room. I think this was a case of James and I just not asking enough whether he needed to go. At the early stages it’s important to keep reminding them. He was clearly in search of a potty as it trailed from the toy room, through the hallway — lovely!
In the afternoon we went to our friends house for a roast dinner. Dun dun dun , pressure!!! I was pretty paranoid that Louis would end up pooing all over their oatmeal coloured carpet. In fact I think that our paranoia sent Louis to the other extreme, where he completely dried up. He did not go the whole afternoon. I had read that you should be careful not to go on too much about it and I think I had made that mistake. There was a lot of crossing legs and winky holding and on two occasions he headed for the potty. Like a WWF tag team James and I was there, trying to pull down his trousers before the flow started. But both times Louis just jumped up and said, “It’s empty”. The whole gang of our mates were laughing their heads off at our frantic behaviour. It was like someone sounding a horn next to my ear, I would suddenly leap up and run towards the potty. If you know me, you know running is something I rarely do but it was only about 3 meters to the potty so I was ok.
After a few rounds playing on the piano with our talented friend Ryan, where Louis hit the high notes and shouted sunshine, then hit the low notes, shouted thunder then ran around like a nutter hiding under the pillows, we headed home, pleased that we didn’t encounter any awkward or embarrassing clean up operations.
We managed to get a wee in before bedtime, which was good. It was obvious he had needed it for a while, as there was a lot of fidgeting down below.
Number of accidents: 2
Number of wee’s on the potty: 1
Number of poo’s on the potty: 0 …tomorrow it will come full force
Day 3
Now I should have been more on guard this morning with Louis not having a poo the day before, but he did a poo in his night pants before I got a chance to get him to the loo. Faux pas of mine.
The day was pretty successful other than that. All wees were on the potty, and before I took him out for a walk in his pram to try and get him to have a nap, he even tried to have a wee — which he did!
Later on that day he told me he needed a poo and when I pulled his pants down a neat little poo nugget just fell on the floor — thank god for wooden floors! The rest he completed in the potty and lucky for me, the bit on the floor was solid so not too messy.
Number of accidents: 1 ½
Number of wee’s on the potty: 4
Number of poo’s on the potty: ½
Day 4
Before heading to nursery Louis had the biggest wee. I thought it might overflow! Today was a biggy as he was heading to nursery for the first time without nappies. The nursery team were all on-board to continue helping Louis get dry so I felt secure in the knowledge that he would be looked after.
When I picked him up it was clear that the new routine had made him a little nervous as throughout the day he did several little poos and nuggets in his pants. They seem to think it was as if he wanted to go but kept stopping himself. At nursery he also refused the potty and wanted to head straight for the big toilet, I was quite happy with this, as it will be much easier if those stinky poos can get flushed straight away and not manhandled by James or me. We had to wait 15 minutes for him to come out of nursery as he was “trying” to go to the toilet once again and even though nothing was happening he refused to get off! We waited patiently until he was happy to de-throne himself from the toilet seat.
James had a shock when clearing his nursery bag and unwrapping the soiled bags of clothes that Louis had got through that day. Yep you guessed it, his finger went right through a piece of poo — horrid. Random thing to add here but I am intrigued as to the best place to wash shit from their pants. I mean the kitchen sink is a clear no no. Some people seem to opt for the bath after all it’s for cleaning right? I however like to go for the bathroom sink as well, it’s the bathroom, the natural place where you empty your bowels and wash. But what was unfortunate is that this particular plughole is one of those metal plugs that go up and down with the lever behind the tap. On some occasions gets stuck and so I end up with a basin full of water with bits of floating excrement. Rank!
Day 5
I kept asking Louis if he needed a wee and he said no. I quickly went off to get dressed, whilst potty training it becomes a timed obstacle course to see how quickly you can complete the task. When I came back into the living room Louis showed me that he had done a wee on the potty; I was so proud. He had done it all by himself and there was no mess at all.
After his breakfast I asked if he needed a poo to which he said he didn’t. I went to do the washing up; I often can’t be bothered after dinners so instead leave a pile for me to do in the morning. Some people do yoga, some go for a walk, some read a newspaper, I wash-up! What a productive start to any day. He he.
I kept checking on Louis who was playing in his toy room and on the third check I found him sat on one of his potties that I leave just outside the room. He was sitting on it saying “poo”. He didn’t go but I could smell it. It’s amazing how you know the smell of your own child’s shit, maybe that could be a new game show? Suddenly a feeling of dread came over me. Like a sniffer dog I went on the hunt expecting to find poo smeared all over the living room rug. But like a halo above it, the potty suddenly glistened at me and there was a neatly curled gigantic poo. Wow! Clever boy I thought. Of course it would have been good if he had told me but hey I couldn’t complain. I managed to give his bum a wipe but it was very soar from the constant pooing at nursery the day before so he wasn’t very willing. There was a bit of wrestling going on!
Number of accidents: 0
Number of wee’s on the potty: 4
Number of poo’s on the potty: 1
Day 6
Today he went to nursery again and was being picked up by his Nanny and Grandad. My mum has potty trained many children and so I knew she would be perfect at carrying it on at their house. I was told that he hadn’t had any accidents at nursery and at my Mum’s he enjoyed using the big toilet with an inner seat.
Day 7
Today he woke up at his Nanny’s house, had many successful wees and a poo on the potty. I met Louis, my Mum and Dad at his Grandma’s house. He was excellent and told me when he needed to go for a wee. A very good day!
Number of accidents: 0
Number of wee’s on the potty: 1
Number of poo’s on the potty: 1
Number of wee’s on the toilet: 3
Number of poo’s on the toilet: 0
Day 8
I’m sure many parents can relate that there has been at least one occasion where something very innocent ends up looking a bid odd or just damn right wrong. I may have mentioned before that when Louis hurts himself, he runs up to James or me and asks us to kiss it better. Cute right. Well after having his morning wee, I put on his pants and hadn’t realised that his winky was upright not pointing down. “Ouch Mummy, my winky hurts”. I quickly investigated and corrected my error. To which Louis innocently asked me to kiss it better. I laughed out loud and realised he obviously had no idea why I suddenly didn’t want to do it. I kissed his shoulder and he said “no down there”. I just kissed my hand and gave him a little pat, internally crying with laughter.
This was also the day that James witnessed Louis doing the biggest poo ever on the potty. Louis actually stared James in the eye whilst he squeezed it out. James swears he saw Louis eyes water as he strained. Seriously what does this kid eat?
That afternoon he had his cousin’s stay over. Even with all the distraction he was great at sticking to weeing on the potty for the rest of the day.
Number of wee’s on the potty: 4
Number of poo’s on the potty: 1
Number of wee’s on the toilet: 0
Number of poo’s on the toilet: 0
Day 9
Today I title horrible shit day. Two things.
The first, whilst Louis was playing morning hide and seek with his cousins I interrupted his game to make him have a wee. He then ran off and liked a bit of naked time. Fair enough. Then a little while later Louis came from underneath my bed where he was hiding, and started running towards the toilet saying poo. I saw it coming out his bare behind, and what did I do? I held my hands out and caught it whilst screaming for James to come and assist. He made it onto the toilet to finish the rest. I was stood there in disbelief that I had just proactively caught my son’s shit. I scrubbed my hand clean. Although it was pretty horrific, the beige deep pile carpet would have been a challenge if it had landed and embedded in that.
The most hilarious incident was later that evening. Well I say hilarious — it was for me, James not so much. Having spent the day at my Mum and Dad’s we came home full from a delicious roast dinner with homemade apple crumble. Louis hadn’t had a poo but one was brewing. It started before he reached the potty. James and I pulled his clothes off as carefully as possible so we didn’t smear him like some dodgy protest and then waited whilst he finished. Sat on his potty I could see the carnage — the poo was all over him. His bum, his winky — everywhere. This was gonna be a major clean up operation which meant only one thing — revert to the old school, get the changing mat out, wipes and plenty of nappy sacks. We waited and waited. Louis just would not get off the potty. We now believe it was linked to the fear of having a soar bottom and that wiping would be painful. After minutes and minutes of reassurance that it would be ok, he still refused. So we decided we would need to physically pull him off the potty. What we hadn’t accounted for was that he would go into an absolutely fucking meltdown that resulted in him flapping his legs around and yes — poo flying in the air. What happened next was like a scene from a comedy sketch. A small lump of poo landed on the rug — not ideal. Another piece landed on the wooden floor just in time for James to tread in it (he did have socks on) — the scene playing out in front of me sent me into my default of uncontrollable laughter. Meaning that the mat was not ready as I couldn’t concentrate and by now James was bubbling as angrily as Louis was. After being shouted back to reality I laid the mat out, forced Louis down and we cleared it up. I was in hysterics. It can be a bad trait of mine, laughing in situations that shouldn’t be funny, but come on! You got to admit it was funny! James didn’t want to talk to me for a good hour after, but a little later he saw the amusing side.
Day 10
After the craziness of the day before today was a standard wee on the toilet and potty kind of day. Phew.
Day 11
Today was a nursery day but when we picked him up, they said he hadn’t been for a number 2 but that they felt he needed one.
After minutes after being home and half way through eating one of his Thomas the Tank cupcakes he had made at Nanny’s house he said he needed a poo. He got on his potty and did it. He then tried pushing his winky into the potty but he was unsuccessful and the spray went everywhere.
He was then putting his hands near his face and I freaked out. Like a germ alarm going off I raised my voice and begged him not to put his hands near his face. I started wiping at him all whilst he was still on the potty and mopping the wee that was on the floor around him. He didn’t want to get off the potty. Great, this again. By now the smell was giving me a headache but I couldn’t have another shit flying incident. So I had to use my number 1 parenting tool — bribery. Food? TV? No… nothing worked.
I waited and waited, in fact for 29 whole minutes — not wanting to ‘pressurise’ him or cause future issues. But enough was enough. The smell was now making me sick. I forced him up and told him it wouldn’t hurt when I wipe. He seemed to register what I was saying and then he stood and was pleasantly surprised that in fact it didn’t hurt. I threw the contents down the toilet and almost gagged — it looked like the aftermath of a night eating spicy Indian food. I thought to myself — wow, maybe it burnt him on the way out!
Day 12
Louis was great today and we spent the day at his Grandmas house once again. We had lunch there with his Nanny, Grandad and Aunt. He did lots of wee’s on the toilet and also a nice poo poo — courtesy of my Mum who took him and told him to ry.
Day 13
Another nursery day where there were no accidents. Yippee!
Day 14
This was my first trip to the shops, just Louis and me. I was a bit nervous, but armed myself with spare clothes, wipes and his travel potty. I took him into the shopping centre toilets and after waiting 10 minutes for the one large cubicle to become vacant I took him in with me. He said he didn’t need to go but I asked him to try. He wanted to go on the potty and not the toilet, which was fine. He did a lovely big wee. Ah that was pretty easy I thought.
After soft play he had a sandwich and then I met a friend for lunch. Normally Louis would join us but having been extremely tired on this day after nursery the day before, I thought it would be best for him to eat early and then nap. Although he refused to do so. In the café Louis was a pain in the backside, moaning and crying — now overtired. When he realised that he could say he needed a wee and it meant I would take him for a walk to the back of the café and into the toilet cubicle, he thought it was a cool game. 4 trips all with no wee wee’s. Having eaten my lunch one handed, I gave up, apologised to my friend and headed home in the car. He was zonked within a minute. He kept saying he needed a wee before getting in the car so I got the potty out next to the car, in the pouring rain and he quickly decided he wasn’t that desperate to go!
So in summary, it has been quite an eventful journey so far, a very messy one at times. But it has been so much easier then I ever imagined. Louis has been fantastic and I am super proud of him. He is not perfect yet and we keep having the odd accidents, just yesterday he had a bit of a dicky belly and kept pooing in his pants before reaching the toilet. Three times I had to do a complete clean up operation. But these types of days are not regular.
When I now leave the house I simply make sure I have everything I need. In a way life feels a bit easier. Louis hated baby-changing units in toilets and would never lie on them. It meant I would often be kneeling on, yep you can imagine, pissy toilet floors! Now I can just take him into a toilet and he can use it normally. WE are a long way off Louis just taking himself off to the toilet but day by day we are making progress.
If you have been thinking about potty training or maybe even putting it off I hope this blog brings you some reassurance and advice that the challenges can be overcome.
To wrap this very lengthy blog up I am going to give you my top tips below:
Wiping Their Bottoms
Getting your little one to ‘bend over’ is weird and often difficult to get right into the bum to clean it. It’s actually easier when they are sat on the toilet as you can nudge them forward and wipe much more easily.
Bum Cream
Your little ones may become soar and this can be a hindrance to their potty training journey. Make sure you have some Bepanthen or something similar to hand to ease it.
Spare Clothes
I can’t reiterate enough -take lots of spare clothes and pants wherever you go. Not just one pair, 2 or even 3! also opt for clothes that can be pulled up and down easily like tracksuit bottoms. Zips, belts and drawstring can be an added obstacles.
Pourty potty
I bought this on amazon for £10 not knowing which would be the best. But it is brilliant and so easy for them to sit on and then pour the contents down the loo. Make sure that whatever potty you buy, let your little one play with it. Put his/hers toys on it, so they get used to seeing it and understand what it is for. You can find Pourty Potty on Amazon
My Carry Potty
This has been amazing as he can go to the toilet wherever you are and you can discreetly shut and lock it and empty the contents when you get to a toilet. I purchased My Carry Potty from Amazon; it comes in a variety of styles.
Children Internal toilet training seat
Get one of these for every toilet in your house and even one to take out and about. They make the toilet comfortable and less scary for your little one to sit on. You can get a variety of versions, the one I have cost a few pounds from B&M stores. There are also lots online such as this one by LuvdBaby.
Flushable toilet wipes
These have been amazing whilst potty training as they are moist enough to wipe and not hurt your little one, but you can also flush them straight into the loo. I have seen them in Boots , some of the big supermarkets and online.
Sticker Reward chart
A great way to excite and encourage your little one during this time is to have a reward chart where they can stick stickers each time they have a successful wee or poo on the potty/toilet.
Books
There are lots of children’s books based around potty training, we have found these really helpful as we can then relate back to the books. We have the Thomas and Friends: My Thomas Potty book and I Need A Wee by sue Hendra.
Night Nappies
I have decided to conquer the daytime routine before the night-time but the night pants look more like real pants so Louis could make the distinction that it is not a nappy. They are a godsend and really help during this transitional phase.
Patience
I have read and heard so many times that sometimes your little one just doesn’t get it or they will simply refuse to go on the potty. If they really aren’t ready there is no harm in stopping and trying again at a later date, whether it be a few weeks or even months. It shouldn’t be a traumatic experience for them or you. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Encouragement
This is a huge milestone in your little ones life and as the adult you need to be prepared that it may be challenging for everyone involved. The most important thing is to constantly encourage your little one. Praise them, make a huge fuss every time they go on the potty. It will really help them to enjoy the transition of becoming a big boy or girl.
Good luck!
