Make time to be YOU.
Last night as I sat there convincing myself to “rest” after suffering a 2 day migraine I found myself picking up my phone to write.
Is it strange that I feel guilty for allowing myself to have the night off.
I am telling myself all the reasons I NEED the break. A few hours not to think. A few hours to escape watching a ‘chick flick’ that, let’s face it, I already know what’s going to happen.
But it reminded me of just how much pressure we put on ourselves.
As a mother.
As a business owner.
Hell, just as a person!
I’m reading a book called Untamed by Glennon Doyle, and there is a section where she writes about how we stop trusting ourselves.
“What we need is more women who have quit fearing themselves and started trusting themselves. What the world needs is masses of women who are entirely out of control.”
Now she is referring to women which made a deep impact on me.
I constantly think about everyone else before me. And why?
Yes I understand the needs of my children need to be met as a priority, but we all have needs don’t we. And at what point do so many of us forget that? Or feel like its frowned upon to admit it?
I am not religious but this line in the book got to me. In biblical history it is said that Eve picked the forbidden fruit and ate it. Adam was with her and he ate it, too. Their eyes were opened and their innocence lost. They ran from God and His presence soon after, and were expelled from the garden, paradise lost.
Glennon doyle writes:
“Maybe Eve was never meant to be our warning. Maybe she was meant to be our model.
Own your’ wanting.
Eat the apple.
Let it burn.”
Wow. powerful stuff.
It really has made me think.
Do I want to be spending my weekends standing around at yet another kids party? Or at a play park, or smelly soft play. Do I want to be sat in every night because my kids are at home in bed? Do I want to be constrained to travel within the school holidays?
The answer is NO, if you hadn’t guessed.
I mean maybe sometimes it’s a YES but not all the time!
Do I want to be able to ‘pop out’ at the drop of a hat, to the shops, for a walk, to meet a mate for a bite to eat or a cuppa somewhere. Do I want to book a ticket to a show and hop on a train to the West End? Do I want to jump on a flight and spend a weekend taking in culture on a city break? YES YES YES!!!
The list is endless.
But if I ever do any of these things, and it is rare now, I feel guilty. Like I am doing my kids a disservice if I have a night out. I feel guilty when I book an overnight stay with my business mastermind instead of rushing back to see them.
I often dream about all the things I would like to do, but I never make the effort to make it a reality anymore. As if by having children I have put a massive DEAD END sign in front of me.
There needs to be a balance right? There should be room for our individual WANTS and DESIRES.
The same with business.
I am in my second year and am at a stage where I am ready to really scale my business. There is so much I need to do. So much I want to do. My hours are limited.Between breakfast, school runs, dinner times, bath times, bedtimes, any free moment I have you will find me at my computer. Sometimes until 10:30pm at night. Admittedly I always try to squeeze in a bit of TV for some chill time, and then it’s off to bed.
But working to the point where there is no time for anything else. No time to relax or take your foot off the gas. Surely it will lead to exhaustion! it’s not an ideal place is it?
We need to put importance on all areas of our life and yes although areas take precedence at times, we need to be mindful we don’t fall into the trap. All work and no play. Or, all parenting and no play!
So last night, having forced myself to switch off and do something I love, which I can admit is watching cheesy romantic comedies that have a plot line so simple and predictable but brings you complete satisfaction, I feel weirdly rejuvenated.
So to round up this rambling.
Let’s trust ourselves.
Make time to be YOU.
Go stand out in your field and be great!