Careers and kids …is it possible?
I recently shared a post on social media about my company Orange Lamb…and it got me thinking that I probably don’t share my business journey enough on my blog.
Now let’s get this clear, this is not to sell myself for 5 minutes so that you all come knocking on my door to use my amazing services ….although wouldn’t that be nice!!
It’s actually to give you a better insight into my life.
Working and looking after kids can feel like a juggling act. Even more so since the school era has begun for the Burtt’s. It’s an organisational nightmare some days; scheduling meetings around school runs, trying to block out weeks of work for school term breaks and on top of that just doing your day to day tasks like washing and cooking …I’m referring to washing laundry, I promise I try and shower once a day!
I witness these acts of struggles on a daily basis especially at the school gates.
Parents getting stuck on the train calling ahead to ask if another parent can pick their kids up.
I’ve seen parents on conference calls whilst waiting in the pick-up line.
Parents missing crucial school meetings and events because they can’t get off work.
Before and after school clubs filling up whilst their parents race to get to work and back again.
I feel very fortunate that I get to work for myself and from the comfort of my home most days. That can have its challenges sure, especially when Virgin Media have done nothing to fix our internet issues in 4 months (another story!), but I don’t have to rely on morning and after school clubs, help with pick-ups, and I rarely get the train so don’t have to worry about public transport letting me down.
That being said, there are days when it feels impossible to have both, kids and a career. And I know that there are many people that feel the same.
So this is how my week looks on average.
Louis is now at school 5 days a week. He loves it, which is fab, and he is truly learning so much which makes me feel less pressured as a parent (5 minutes of handwriting homework is about all we manage in this house!)
George started nursery, the same one where Louis went which is fantastic as it’s like family; he goes 3 days a week.
I have Monday and Wednesday with George, and I admit sometimes it feels painful. As in boring and dull painful (don’t hate me people!).
After a weekend of entertaining and playing with them, going out and catching up with friends/family, Monday hits and I find myself on occasions, internally screaming with the ‘I have so much work to do!!!’ But instead, I have to sit through more episodes of CBeebies The Babyclub, actually now we have moved onto The Toddler Club. When 12pm hits, it’s a huge relief, George’s 2-hour nap time means I can catch up with emails and work accumulated from the weekend.
When it’s a “work day”, since school began, the days are getting shorter. After the school run, I get back, make a cuppa, fill up my water bottle (which I am forcing myself to actually drink, I am a tea monster!), sing some motivational songs (a firm favourite is Heather Small’s Proud), and then I head to my desk. Time is normally between 9:15am-9:30am depending on whether I had to put a load of washing on.
I stare at my ‘to get done list’ (good NLP there — I like to call it that as opposed to a to-do list as it presupposes I’ll actually get stuff done!) and block out the time in my working week to complete it all (in an ideal world of course outside of any unexpected situations that may occur, just like Tuesday night when I was due to be on a Zoom session with my Coaching Membership and instead spent the evening in Urgent Care after Louis fell while sitting at our dining room table and the heavy wooden bench landed on his toes full force!).
I spend my days working with amazing clients helping them stand out in their field by creating their own 360˚ brand identity right from initial concepts — working out their brand message, tone of voice, USP’s, target market etc then onto designing of their logo, brand style, website and social media graphics. I work with a variety of entrepreneurs, influencers and small businesses from coaches, consultants and beauticians to companies including an opticians, veterinary practice, SAAS provider, events organiser and a wellness business.
It’s a non-stop creative ride and I LOVE it.
But take out time for lunch — and I like my food so lunch is never skipped — a couple of sales calls, maybe time to hang the washing out, sort out some life admin; the time often evaporates.
As soon as the clock goes past 2pm, it’s like having a countdown timer ticking down until it’s time to go and do the school run again.
So if I had to add on top of that, commuting to and from work, I think I would just collapse on the sofa post-kids bedtime most nights!!
For me, the two hours between Louis finishing school and collecting George from nursery, can be nice and calm. It gives me some quality time with Louis, when I say quality time it’s normally badgering him on Monday and Tuesday to complete his homework, Wednesday playing with him, Thursday watching a film with him and Friday, well this sometimes can just be 3 hours of back chat and arguing depending on how tired he is!
On the days where George is home, that time is just a madhouse of play, running around like maniacs and trying to cook whilst stopping either of them hurting themselves (George is a bit of a daredevil it turns out!)
In the evenings, once both of the kids are asleep, normally by 7pm, I spend two hours working on the business or on me — this can be a variety of things. I am a member of an incredible coaching membership, The Collective of Extraordinary Women, run by Lucienne Shakir. It is the best investment I have ever made in myself. So many tangible tools to help me with my mindset and keep me on track to grow my business and create a life I LOVE. So I may be catching up with coaching sessions.
I may be writing content for my Orange Lamb social media …although I am great at encouraging my clients to do this and not so good as doing it myself.
I may write content for My Family Unfiltered blog… just like I am now! Or even recording a podcast! Yes if you didn’t know I released The Family Unfiltered Podcast last month, and do you know what …it went to number 7 in the Apple Podcast charts on launch day! (Little brag there!)
Sometimes I learn. Yes I love learning, especially new tricks for designing.
Sometimes I read. Latest book was The Wim Hof Method — if you have never heard of him, google him now!! His method is soooo simple and can change your life.
Other times I try and just chill! Indulging in a gripping TV show is one of my favourite ways to relax. Current shows include This Is Us (OMG who will Kevin end up with …I’ll find out tonight hopefully! Eeeeekkkk), We Crashed, Bridgerton and soon to start Glow, the drama about gorgeous female wrestlers.
And sometimes (especially when making up time when your kids have had chicken pox), this time gets hijacked by client projects, I do have a habit of over-delivering by trying to turn work around as speedily as possible but, because I love what I do, it doesn’t feel that I am hard done by.
It really is a big juggling act but I have come to realise that I am THAT person. The person that thrives on being, I hate to use the word, but BUSY. I am used to having a lot going on and have always been crowned ‘the organiser’ amongst my friends for being the person who will get shit organised! The irony is that I don’t consider myself an organised person but I like to please, so just take on this sort of responsibility happily.
But it can feel exhausting. Or maybe that is not the best explanation. It can feel like your brain is constantly buzzing with thoughts, ideas, things you need to get done, what you need to order from the shop, what you are cooking for dinner, blah blah blah.
I don’t wave being busy as a badge of honour anymore. You know you hear those people, “I am just soooo BUSY.” Now I just think ‘twat’.
So when I think that I am “busy”, I try and ground myself and think through everything logically. It stops the overwhelm, focuses on facts and stops my monkey mind coming out and tripping me up.
But people always say to me — ‘you and James are so busy, looks like everything is going great’. Isn’t that funny. Surely if you saw me sitting on a beach, sipping cocktails week after week, that would trigger that statement?
I actually cringe when I am compared.
Recently a friend/client of mine was coaching another Mum and used me as an example of someone who doesn’t use ‘having kids’ as an excuse and just gets on with it. Although there was a tiny part of me that relished that my work ethic was noticed, there is no way that I condone this theory.
Every child is different. Therefore every child needs something different. From you. The parent. Yes you may have all the intention of setting up your own business or joining a network marketing venture, but if your kids are hanging off your boob all day long, or refusing to sleep leaving you completely sleep deprived and barely knowing your own name, then give yourself a break. Know your limits.
The day I brought Louis home from hospital, my friend Jamie came over to say hello and ended up helping babysit for 3 hours whilst I built a web page for a client I was working with at the time. THAT WAS NOT FUN, OR GOOD, OR INSPIRING. That was sadly my reality back then, I was working for a company and I needed my paycheck!
We shouldn’t feel pressured to be Super Mums and Dads, coping with kids and running a successful business, or holding down a good job does not come hand in hand. It takes work, sacrifice, flexibility and focus. It takes growth as a family. Building routines. All communicating with one another.
That is truly how we can have it all.
It may take us time to get to where we want to be. The financial earnings, launching your business, taking a step up the career ladder, and kids can certainly throw a spanner in the works. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and whilst trying to get there, let’s remember that our bundles of joy are the majority of the light we actually need, and our ‘careers’, while they are the thing that keeps our minds sharp and connect us to a feeling of purpose and achievement, they can come and go, our kids are bonded to us forever.
Wow that got deep.
Anyway, gotta go. Back to work.
#family #familylife #careers #entrepreneurs #workingmums #workingdads #mompreneurs #smallbusiness
